Controlling Communication by asking questions

Let us assume that you now understand how to introduce yourself and how to create a memorable presence. The next step would be to learn how to communicate effectively. Much of what follows in this section will be about creating certain scripts that you can use in conversations rather than having to struggle to find something to say to keep the conversation going.

Here is a list of questions that you could be asking your contacts:

·        What do you do when you are not at work?

·        Who do you know that is here...?

·        How would I know if someone I was talking to would be the ideal referral for you? How would you prefer that I introduce them to you?

·        When did you first realise that...?

·        Where are you offices…?

·        What business are you involved in?

·        What made you decide on that career path?

·        What does the future hold for your industry?

·        Why do you say that…?

·        Do you attend networking sessions regularly?

·        Do you serve on any committees?

The above questions can be used to get the conversation going and to confirm your interest in your contact. These questions can also act as a lead-in to your fact-finding and your later switch- over to a more specific set of business orientated questions. Bear in mind that most women will tend to be more people centred and nurturing than men who will be more analytical and technically minded. Ask questions that your contact will enjoy answering.

Your questions are important because they invite people to engage in conversation with you on either an emotional or intellectual basis. By asking questions you can control the conversation and steer it in the direction you wish to travel. You should always ask questions that have their basis in what the client has told you. When you encourage someone to talk to you about themselves they are much more likely to enjoy their conversation with you and are more likely to look forward to future business interactions with you than if you had rambled on endlessly about your fine virtues.

The echo technique in which you repeat the last three words of your contacts last response as a question can work very well to keep conversation flowing. For example, using my last sentence you might ask “… keeps conversation flowing?” And I am now prompted to respond by adding “Yes, it keeps the speaker talking and the advantage to you is that you keep controlling the conversation and obtaining more and more information. I as the speaker am made to feel good about myself and I am flattered at your obvious interest in what I have to say.” You have created a win-win situation.

When someone who is part of a group discussion is asking a lot of questions and the people who are part of the group could be called upon at random to answer a question, everyone tends to stay more alert and focused so that they don't become embarrassed if they get caught out having failed to pay attention. If they do try and answer a question - that they have only partly heard - to try and cover up this gaff, they will often botch the answer and appear more foolish. It is best to own up in this situation and have the question repeated. But better still is that you don’t let it happen to you in the first place.

One of the most powerful questioning techniques I can teach you is a technique called reflection. When using this technique, you will ask questions of your contact in such a way that your contact would eventually articulate their own solution. When this happens you can be sure that it will be a solution that they will be happy with and that they will commit themselves to achieving the goals set out in this solution. The type of questions that you might ask using the reflection technique will include the following:

·        What makes this a particular problem for you?

·        Why is this problem so important for you to solve at this time?

·        What solutions or activities have you tried in the past to achieve the results you are aiming at?

·        Why did these solutions or activities not work?

·        What would you consider to be an ideal solution to this problem?

·        What if anything, could go wrong with this solution?

·        What if you were running this business, what would you do?

To really shift the conversation up a gear you can use “what if” questions. The really great thing about “what if?” questions is that if used correctly they project a much less threatening scenario and will also tell you exactly how you can persuade your client over to your way of thinking. You might attempt to discover your client’s private thoughts by asking “What if you were the managing director, what would you do to solve this problem?” If his answer is workable or could be used as a starting-point from which to build a final solution you should have no problem obtaining his co-operation when implementing this solution.

Once you have your clients buy-in you can then restate the problem and the proposed solution by asking “…is your objective to (solve this problem) by implementing (your solution)?” Following on, you can now ask “…have you allocated a budget to solve this problem?” This is the money question that most people dread asking. Don’t avoid this question as the process cannot continue without it being answered. An outsider to your organisation is going to be unaware of your pricing strategies and they will not take the discussion any further towards a closing point without this vital information. The way that I handle this question is that I will usually ask for my client to quantify in monetary terms what the problem is costing them in lost revenues or lost production and then I will base my fee as a percentage of that amount. There is no hard and fast pricing rule, but I will know in advance the minimum I am prepared to work for on a fee basis and provided my costs are around 20% of lost profits I have a good chance of securing the deal. I do find that most clients are happier to work on a set fee as opposed to an hourly rate which can get out of hand. Provided the intervention is financially viable for both my client and me, the deal will usually get the go-ahead on this basis.